Archive for March, 2010
How to teach your kids values
How to teach your kids values
Values are the principles you viewed to be right and important in life. One of the important areas which parents must look into when raising kids is the imparting of values to their children. Although it sounds easy but to effectively imparting your values to your children can be difficult and it needs a lot of patience and time. Parents have great effects on a child’s future lifestyle, so it will be wise to develop a positive lifestyle for your kids to follow.
So what should you be doing in order to effectively impart your values to your little ones?
1. Your children learn from you
To “do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t apply to the children of the modern world. It will only be smart to set good examples for your kids to follow because they love to learn from you. So do consider the values you will like to see in your children so that you can set an example for them to learn and follow.
For example, if you like to see politeness in your kids, you would need to display politeness when communicating with them or other people. You have to be a polite person before your child can follow your step.
Take another example; if you want your child to be humble, you would have to be humble yourself. You should not be displaying a sense of arrogance or feel too proud when dealing with people. Always eat your humble pie when you commit a mistake to show your humility. That way, they will learn from your value and follow the way you deal with things.
2. Praises means approvals
When your kids display positive behaviours, you should not forget to praise them. Praising is important because it is one of the more effective ways in which you can show your approval to them. Your children feel good and proud when they are praised by you and with such good feelings, they will want to behave positively again and again.
3. Learn from others
Whenever you see suitable situation, you can point out the positive behaviour or misdeed done to your children. Teach them the value of the good deeds done and hence, they can learn from others. There are actually a lot of such situations you can make use of. These examples can be from TV, newspaper or even when you are out shopping with them.
One important point to take note is that never compare your little ones with another child who have just did something good. If he or she is belittled by your comments, you will only cause negative effects on your child’s mind.
4. Get your children to help
I’ve seen parents stopping their child from helping with the house chores because they have a maid at home. Without having to help out in the house, their kid may grow up not knowing how to help others and expect everything to be prepared for him or her.
When children are given the chances to help out in the house, they will develop a sense of responsibility in them. With the ability to fulfill their responsibilities, they can grow up more confidently.
Imparting values can be simple when raising kids. As long as you know how to set examples, expose them to good and bad behaviours, teach and praise them, you will be able to impart your values to them easily.
Jeff Boo is an Educator with many years of teaching experience and a Father of a pair of twins. Both he and his wife are very experience in handling children If you are truly concern about your children’s learning journey, log on to http://www.essentialsforparents.com and sign up for your FREE instant access to the Children’s Resources Centre!
Happy Muslim Mama: Gentle Parenting
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In a previous post, I mentioned an article in the online magazine, Slate, that gives a modern take on surprisingly traditional parenting methods. The article gives us two more great ideas for positive parenting that we can all implement …
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Parents are always concerned with how to balance their role as parent and effectively raise happy, healthy, and respectful children. It can especially be challenging for a parent to know what to do and how to do it when your child has behavioral difficulties and he or she refuses to go to bed. Although it is common for children to need about at least a 15 minute transition to get fully settled and ready for bed, some children take this time to act out and put unrealistic demands on his or her parents. He or she becomes “tyrant” like and needs 12 bedtime stories, 252 kisses, and he or she still will not let you leave the room. Here are 3 strategies to handle bed time routines when you child takes more than 15-20 minutes to settle down and go to sleep. The first one is to make sure that you give your child at least a 10 minute warning before going to bed. It is helpful to use the TV as a natural ending time. You can even let your children know ahead of time by saying “after this show it is bed-time”. Second, after the show is over make sure you do not allow them chances to “get out” of going right away. Things like “I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty, or I have to go to the bathroom for a third time” can be legitimate request. However, it is best that the child doesn’t eat or drink anything at least 30-40 minutes before bed. Finally, if you child insist on reading a story allow them to pick one or two stories. The total reading time for a child should be between 10-15 minutes. Longer reading times than that can cause power struggles and especially when they are afraid will be used as “ammunition” to keep you there. In conclusion, also remember that your child tends to do what works. So the simplest way to change his or her difficult behavior during bed time is to not make his or her strategy work anymore. Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards? To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com To Download My Brand New eBook – “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here… Unleash The Parental Leader Within! Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar. He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Keep it short – 15 minutes to bed
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Many fathers live a well-rounded healthy lifestyle with regular workouts that involve their kids. First-time dads who think a new baby will interfere with their exercise schedule need not sacrifice their workouts but do need to supplement their parenting skills to include exercising with their kids. The trick here is to come up with kid-friendly routines. These routines are equally rewarding and also help in establishing healthy habits among children. In an interview to the Associated Press, Heidi Hill, author of Fit Family: The Infant, Toddler and Preschool Years (Vitesse, 2008) explains how parents can hike, bike, run, and even kayak with their kids. Heidi and her husband, Tom have put this into practice by trying out many of these sports with their two daughters, aged 3 and 5 each. ”At the get-go, a lot of it can be miserable. You really have to persevere and know that you’re teaching a lifestyle.”, says Hill. In the beginning, dads could try to fast walk with a jog stroller or jog alongside their kids as they bike. The key lies in using the right equipment that is not too clunky. A trail-a-bike is a one-wheel option that can be attached to the back of dad’s bike. Workouts are a great way for dads to bond with their kids. As kids grow older, the positive effects of having family workouts increases exponentially. Dads need to listen to some good parenting advice by self-educating themselves and planning the workout in advance to make the experience fun for the entire family. Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on parenting, parenting skills, pregnancy and dads, parenting tips, baby names, baby rooms and many more topics related to dads.
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Workout with the kids
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
How to calm a baby
How to give your baby pain relievers
Values are the principles you viewed to be right and important in life. One of the important areas which parents must look into when raising kids is the imparting of values to their children. Although it sounds easy but to effectively imparting your values to your children can be difficult and it needs a lot of patience and time. Parents have great effects on a child’s future lifestyle, so it will be wise to develop a positive lifestyle for your kids to follow. So what should you be doing in order to effectively impart your values to your little ones? 1. Your children learn from you To “do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t apply to the children of the modern world. It will only be smart to set good examples for your kids to follow because they love to learn from you. So do consider the values you will like to see in your children so that you can set an example for them to learn and follow. For example, if you like to see politeness in your kids, you would need to display politeness when communicating with them or other people. You have to be a polite person before your child can follow your step. Take another example; if you want your child to be humble, you would have to be humble yourself. You should not be displaying a sense of arrogance or feel too proud when dealing with people. Always eat your humble pie when you commit a mistake to show your humility. That way, they will learn from your value and follow the way you deal with things. 2. Praises means approvals When your kids display positive behaviours, you should not forget to praise them. Praising is important because it is one of the more effective ways in which you can show your approval to them. Your children feel good and proud when they are praised by you and with such good feelings, they will want to behave positively again and again. 3. Learn from others Whenever you see suitable situation, you can point out the positive behaviour or misdeed done to your children. Teach them the value of the good deeds done and hence, they can learn from others. There are actually a lot of such situations you can make use of. These examples can be from TV, newspaper or even when you are out shopping with them. One important point to take note is that never compare your little ones with another child who have just did something good. If he or she is belittled by your comments, you will only cause negative effects on your child’s mind. 4. Get your children to help I’ve seen parents stopping their child from helping with the house chores because they have a maid at home. Without having to help out in the house, their kid may grow up not knowing how to help others and expect everything to be prepared for him or her. When children are given the chances to help out in the house, they will develop a sense of responsibility in them. With the ability to fulfill their responsibilities, they can grow up more confidently. Imparting values can be simple when raising kids. As long as you know how to set examples, expose them to good and bad behaviours, teach and praise them, you will be able to impart your values to them easily. Jeff Boo is an Educator with many years of teaching experience and a Father of a pair of twins. Both he and his wife are very experience in handling children If you are truly concern about your children’s learning journey, log on to http://www.essentialsforparents.com and sign up for your FREE instant access to the Children’s Resources Centre!
How to give your baby pain relievers
Imparting Good Values
Keep the media to a minimum
Keep the media to a minimum
When parents discuss how much media they allow their children, the answers vary wildly. Some parents have very strict time restrictions on their children’s media viewing while others give their children more control over the time they spend on media.
How do you know when your child is getting too much media?
One mom knew she needed to allow less video game time when her 7-year-old son started not wanting play outside or do things with the family preferring his video game instead. He was so attached to playing his video game that he often pitched a fit when he was told the game had to go off. His games didn’t have a good way to save the game for later so he was reluctant to stop playing and lose his place in the game.
She decided to reduce his video game playing to one hour twice a week. She started giving him a 10 minute warning before his hour was up. When the 10 minutes were up, he could either choose to shut the game off or she would turn the power off. It only took a couple times of turning the power off to get him to shut the game down in time.
What are signs that digital usage is becoming a problem?
If your children are exhibiting these types of behaviors, it’s time to think about reducing the time they spend on media:
• Spending less and less time with family and friends
• Difficulty focusing on the present moment due to craving video game or cellphone
• Developing health issues such as Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, eye strain, weight gain, backaches
• Withdrawing from sports, hobbies and social interactions
• Losing sleep due to gaming, texting
• Acting irritable or discontent when not using digital items
• Declining grades in school, missing school
• Talking and thinking obsessively about the digital activity
• Denying or minimizing any negative consequences
If you feel your child is addicted to video games and will react extremely to having limits set, it is wise to seek help from a professional counselor or psychologist.
What do the experts recommend?
Hilarie Cash, psychotherapist and co-author of Video Games & Your Kids, makes the following recommendations for personal screen time (computer, TV, video games). This time does not include computer time needed for homework.
• Under 2-years-old: no screen time
• Preschool: 1 – 2 hours/day
• Elementary: 2 hours/day
• Junior/Senior High: 2 – 3 hours/day
She also recommends no TV, internet or gaming consoles in children’s rooms. The primary problem with having these devices in children’s bedrooms is that parents have more difficulty monitoring what’s going on.
Won’t it be difficult to set limits?
It can be very hard to set limits around digital entertainment. These digital devices keep our children content while we benefit from some free time. However, when we realize our children’s media usage is having a negative impact on them, we need to set some limits despite our children’s protesting.
With older children, it can help to explain why we’re concerned about the time they’re spending on digital entertainment. Engaging them in deciding what reasonable limits should be set may help them in sticking to those limits.
We may also need to change our own behavior so that we are modeling reasonable digital media usage. While this won’t be easy, it will provide the time to try other activities. Perhaps this will be the summer your family discovers how much fun it is to go biking together!
Kathy Slattengren is a noted parenting speaker, trainer and founder of Priceless Parenting. Priceless Parenting provides an online parenting class which teaches effective discipline techniques for positively dealing with misbehavior.
To receive regular parenting tips, sign up for the Priceless Parenting monthly newsletter.
Use the blue bulb from the hospital to clear babies nose
kids and summer
kids and summer
With school out soon, parents either feel two things. 1)”Wow, I can’t wait to spend more time with my kids!” or 2)”Oh, boy, here we go. How will we fill their time?”
Parents who work outside the home have no choice but to send their kids to camps or daycares during the the day, but stay-at-home moms or dads need to get creative. If you need some ideas on how best to occupy your kids this summer then what follows will be just what you need.
In order for children to be happy and content four things need to be present in their day:
1) Routine
2) Stimulation
3) Free Play/Alone time
4) Sleep
How do we structure their days so that all four requirements are met? The following is what a typical day could look like:
8 am Kids wake up (or 9 am)
Eat a healthy breakfast
Have free time to play, watch a good quality children’s program (no fighting, violence, or quick flashing images) for a half hour or hour
Learn how to make or bake something with mommy or daddy. This can be a craft or a baked good.
Eat a healthy lunch
Put them down for a nap or if older, take them outside to:
a) a playground
b) a friends house (this way you can have a tea or coffee with another adult while the kids play!)
c) a play gym
d) walk somewhere (grocery store, post office, ice cream store)
e) take pictures of nature with a disposable or digital camera (Children love this! Give them a
brief lesson on how to focus on an object etc. then let them be creative with whatever they
want to capture) Make these pictures part of another day’s craft activity!
f) kick around a ball together
g) walk in the countryside
h) go to a museum
i) go to the zoo
j) send the kids on a scavenger hunt and after they find everything they can enjoy a homemade
popsicle or ice cream!
k) go to grandma and grandpa’s house
l) play catch
m) meet the working parent for his or her coffee break (how nice to visit them during the day for a
short coffee, tea, lemonade or chocolate milk!)
n) weed the garden or grass (believe it or not, some kids really like doing this! Put on some good
music and have an enjoyable time together)
o) take care of the garden plants by watering them, picking off dead leaves etc.
p) wash the car with buckets of soapy water, sponges and shammy cloths
q) turn on the sprinkler(s) and let the kids run through the water (you can either join in or read a
good book while they play)
Come home and let the children have some “Alone Time” (for you as well!)
Eat a healthy dinner
Spend some quality family time together
To bed no later than 9:00pm for younger children and 10pm for older children.
Voila! A perfect day that is routined and stimulating yet has plenty of free play and sleep.
Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly want. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/
How to burb your kiddo
Kids and the Case of the Missing Tree’s
Kids and the Case of the Missing Tree’s
Years ago, we walked a mile to school without batting an eye. Then we walked back home, stopping often at the park to play unattended, unsupervised. After all, it was a park and kids were supposed to play there.
These were assumptions we took so placidly in those safer days before Madeleine McCann and Tori Stafford. The stories of these girls’ terrible abductions remind us that the situation confronting parents and caregivers is totally different in this day and age. Our kids are driven to school in buses and cars. We would think twice about letting them walk home alone, unsupervised. Allowing them to play alone in the park or woods behind the house is unthinkable.
The result is that our children are growing up with less personal contact with the natural world. As Richard Louv says in his book Last Child Out of the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder, “Today, kids are aware of the global threats to the environment–but their physical contact, their intimacy with nature, is fading.”
Are We Depriving Our children of a Connection with Nature that is Essential for Positive Growth and Development?
This is the question Louv asks in his book. He makes a strong case for the consequences our children will suffer when deprived of an intimate relationship with the natural world. He makes the case for the growing rise of ADHD, ADD and other behavior problems as a direct consequence of a lack of contact with nature in our children’s lives. Nature Deficit Disorder is showing up as hyperactivity and violence in our society.
He cites studies that show how exposure to natural settings (even for 20 minutes) increases the capacity for attention and focus in children. Students who take a 20 minute walk in the park perform better on tests of memory and attention. Other research studies show that children in public housing who have access to green space perform better emotionally and intellectually than those who do not have such access. Tests also show that just looking at nature can improve test scores.
Investing in Children
Louv insists that time with nature and in nature is an act of investing in our children’s health. It allows them to reconnect with a fundamental part of ourselves that is larger than life and allows them to appreciate the wisdom of cyclical and universal forces.
Take our child hiking as often as we can.
Replace part of our lawn with native plant. Maintain a bird bath.
Have a pebble hunting party in the park or beach.
Build something with the stones and pebbles collected.
Build a tree house or fort in the backyard.
Give our children a pet. It can teach them so much about natural wisdom.
Make a daily Green Hour part of the family tradition.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
Most memorable parenting moment: Question 5 – Parent to Parent … A place for parents to talk about life’s most challenging job. One parenting tool that might help is to utilize the â??in-betweenâ? times to generate more parenting connection. I learned of this technique from a research-based, meditation group, called Heart Math. They describe an â??in-betweenâ? … Interview with parenting expert NoÃ?«l Janis-Norton: Calmer, Easier … I was mostly contemplating the latter question when I met London-based parenting expert Noël Janis-Norton about six years ago, when my children were extremely young. I was also contemplating questions like, “What am I doing? … Slow Parenting in a Fast Paced World: Avoid Overscheduling and Too … Slow parenting is about slowing our pace and not overscheduling children. Child directed creative play helps develop creativity, independence and problem solving skills. Bill proposes shared parenting for Canada | Family Law and Divorce … Bill C-422 is a private member’s bill that intends to potentially change Canada’s Divorce Act. It wants judges to grant equal shared parenting in the majority of custody disputes â?? unless abuse is involved and it’s proven so. …How to calm a baby
Communicating calmly – parenting 101
Years ago, we walked a mile to school without batting an eye. Then we walked back home, stopping often at the park to play unattended, unsupervised. After all, it was a park and kids were supposed to play there. These were assumptions we took so placidly in those safer days before Madeleine McCann and Tori Stafford. The stories of these girls’ terrible abductions remind us that the situation confronting parents and caregivers is totally different in this day and age. Our kids are driven to school in buses and cars. We would think twice about letting them walk home alone, unsupervised. Allowing them to play alone in the park or woods behind the house is unthinkable. The result is that our children are growing up with less personal contact with the natural world. As Richard Louv says in his book Last Child Out of the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder, “Today, kids are aware of the global threats to the environment–but their physical contact, their intimacy with nature, is fading.” Are We Depriving Our children of a Connection with Nature that is Essential for Positive Growth and Development? This is the question Louv asks in his book. He makes a strong case for the consequences our children will suffer when deprived of an intimate relationship with the natural world. He makes the case for the growing rise of ADHD, ADD and other behavior problems as a direct consequence of a lack of contact with nature in our children’s lives. Nature Deficit Disorder is showing up as hyperactivity and violence in our society. He cites studies that show how exposure to natural settings (even for 20 minutes) increases the capacity for attention and focus in children. Students who take a 20 minute walk in the park perform better on tests of memory and attention. Other research studies show that children in public housing who have access to green space perform better emotionally and intellectually than those who do not have such access. Tests also show that just looking at nature can improve test scores. Investing in Children Louv insists that time with nature and in nature is an act of investing in our children’s health. It allows them to reconnect with a fundamental part of ourselves that is larger than life and allows them to appreciate the wisdom of cyclical and universal forces. Take our child hiking as often as we can. Replace part of our lawn with native plant. Maintain a bird bath. Have a pebble hunting party in the park or beach. Build something with the stones and pebbles collected. Build a tree house or fort in the backyard. Give our children a pet. It can teach them so much about natural wisdom. Make a daily Green Hour part of the family tradition. Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
Communicating calmly - parenting 101
Kids and the Case of the Missing Tree’s
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Many times parents are concerned with how loud their child speaks when the child is talking to them. It can be especially challenging for parents to know what to do and how to do it when their child’s voice volume is just too loud!
Although it is common for children to get other people’s attention by shouting when someone is in another room, or you are upstairs once and a while. It becomes too much when you are standing right next to him or her, and your child is shouting as if you are 50 feet away!
Since children are learning how to use their vocal chords and what volume to use to get his or her needs met, here are some strategies to have them speak more softly.
Use an “inside voice” whenever you are in the house. Make sure that you speak in a voice volume range that isn’t too loud or too soft. Aim for somewhere in the middle. Instead of shouting requests and messages from downstairs, walk to the child. The child will follow that same action you modeled when he or she is far away and is trying to get your attention.
Make sure you listen to T.V., radio, and music from your Cd player in a certain “loudness range”. I cannot make you commit so a certain decibel volume, however if you notice that you and your children have to compete with or fight over the volume of the TV and music played, it is time to lower the electronic devices. Competing with loud volumes from TVs and radio is often a major reason why your child is unknowingly shouting in the first place.
Finally, point out to your child when he or she is shouting, instead of letting them continue to shout. When you speak, there is no need to whisper “you are shouting right now”, just use your normal voice volume to act like a “mirror” simply helping them to be aware of his or her volume. Just remember always stay calm!
In conclusion, also remember that your child is learning what to (and not to) pay attention to. Hold them accountable by using the steps below. Your child does have the capability to give you his or her full attention, just give the child 3-10 seconds to shift his/her attention to you first completely.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
How to burb your kiddo